Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
