Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dick very happy bro
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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