just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
