Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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