Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
