thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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