____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
soo... how was my night?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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