I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize