they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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