We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
