Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is