so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize