what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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