That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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