I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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