im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
