I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
