**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
