Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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