no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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