yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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