just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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