Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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