:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
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Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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