Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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