Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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