I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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