shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
