..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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