ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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