Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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