I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
