i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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