I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh god it's open bar.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
