i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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