I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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