I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
im on a boat
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