And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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