why didn't you poke me back
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
