I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
