Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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