I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I want her autograph on my taint
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Is Oprah even human
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
