I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
