ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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