Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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