she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
