WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
