Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
