In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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