I love black thongs
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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