We won't sleep together?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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