My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
