In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
this is an emotional support booty call
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
