question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
