worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
