did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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