Umm I'm too high to move.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
