Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
