oh god the rape fog is back!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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