I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
