Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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